Opposition suits me...

As I read this week, I am facing a dilema of trepidation and pleasure.... I am really enjoying the collection of Essays edited by Ellen Schrecker, "Cold War Triumphalism - the misuse of History After the Fall of Communism".

Her introductor essay itself is a knockout, and then to follow it with Ribuffo's essay has me nodding my head in agreement, for the most part anyway. Here is where the fear factor settles in... As I read, I can feel the thoughts coalesce, as though a form of deja vu.

The fun thing about reading these essays is that they are largely against the grain of current thinking (hence the title). I find I share some of these views to the point that some make me wonder if I have completely internalize something somewhere… but haven’t read these essays before, nor the authors of these essays (with the exception of Marilyn Young.) No, it is not that I think I am having some psychic breakthrough, or telepathic experience, but that these hitherto assorted jumble of thoughts and feelings about these topics are now organizing themselves in a coherent way that they had not before, though had cycled through only in bits and pieces… not like a puzzle. More like assorted clips and images thoughts suddenly taken on a more 3-d combined with motion as in real life... as long as the book is in my hand and my eyes are on the page I think I know how to orchestrate what I want to say… and even more flashes of brilliance…

Having not given William Appleman Williams significant consideration in my past readings, and having a preconception of what his writings were about, Leo Ribuffo absolutely elucidates and forces me to go back and investigate the original author’s words and intent as Ribuffo writes on the morality of the Cold War… So the bright flashes I may have had at one time are taken out of the junk drawer in my brain, dusted off and fashioned into a gem joined with the new flashes to be embroidered into finer work later.

So the fear comes in knowing myself. Being an amateur painter I have often started art projects that seem so promising only to get ¾ of the way through and loose interest or steam or both, particularly if I cannot get a small element just right. I want to finish… I want to take these thoughts and some how keep them organized, to weave the strands together in a way that means something… perhaps my very own Bayeux Tapestry (but with no missing pieces…)

If only I could post some chunks of these essays without breaking copyright law...